Letter to me

Letter to my 16 year old self.

In the Australian Woman’s Weekly each issue they have a feature a letter written by a celebrity to their sixteen year old self. As I am about to turn the ripe old age of thirty two (!) and as I have recently become a mother, I have that “fountain of knowledge” feeling and so have decided to indulge this fantasy by completing this exercise myself.

Dear Amie,

I realise as I am writing this that you will be very tempted to laugh me off, and while I love that about you, I also hope that you at least remember these words as they may come in handy in the not too distant future.

Firstly, you are not immune to illness. One day quite soon you will discover yourself to be saddled with the oppression of mental illness and it will break your heart. The good news is that you will discover new depths of resilience if you allow yourself to accept it. You can take charge of your health and take action to keep yourself well but it is hard work and it never goes away so stay vigilant and live on. Don’t doubt yourself, you are the happy person you’ve always believed yourself to be, you just have to fight a little bit harder for it than others.

Sex is NOT love. Enough said.

Keep on kicking those boys to the kerb! I know you love feeling like you are in love but remember that an imperfect relationship will prove faultier with time. You can’t ‘fix’ him with your love and faithfulness and devotion. Relationships must have a strong, deep and personal foundation that is born of experience and mutual respect. But don’t worry, love is mostly always fun. If it isn’t than he isn’t worth your time. Not to give too much away but you will find a man who is perfect for you, quite soon, though he may be nothing much like your sixteen year old self imagines!

Keep reading. Read lots and lots and challenge yourself to read as widely as possible. The World Wide Web is around the corner but you will never tire of grasping a good book, and this will give you much needed escapism, holidays when you cannot afford it, consolation and inspiration. Try to join a good book club if you can.

Every situation is temporary. This is sometimes a relief and sometimes a burden, but you need to know that if you are dissatisfied then you can change that. Do not allow yourself to remain stuck in a rut, living out your less inspired choices, because all that change requires is hard work and persistence and not a little courage. The flip side is that you must make the most of every happy moment, it sounds cheesy, but take time when you are happy to pause and take stock, dig deep and try to remember the feeling. It will carry you through the low points.

Similarly, in spite of what everyone is telling you, the career choices you make as a sixteen year old are not permanent. One day they will refer to your age group collectively as Generation Y. They will generalise, saying that your transient and non committal (Generation Why Should I), but it is actually about knowing your worth and working hard to keep challenging yourself to rise to your full potential. Work really bloody hard. Loyalty is a virtue but beware of it being misplaced. Don’t be discouraged by fear. Change is frightening but no good ever came from hiding from it, so face challenges head on. Just look before you leap.

Don’t be too hard on your friends. It is always better with friendship to have quality over quantity, but sometimes your people will have a lot of difficulty supporting you if it involves them seeing you in a different light. They rely on you to be and act a certain way, but the true friends will adapt with you and love you just the same.

Don’t get involved in other people’s tragedies. You want to save the world. You want to help the people you love and you have a lot of love for a lot of people! Just be warned that interference will result in you losing some very important friendships. You have to learn how to be supportive without stepping in and trying to solve the ‘problem’. Particularly when it comes to your friend’s relationships! They have to make their own mistakes too.

Lastly, treasure your family. Try to discover early on that your amazing parents were people before they were “Mum” and “Dad”. Respect them as individuals as well as loving them for the strength they bring as a partnership. As I write this, your child sleeps peacefully in the next room. This child will be the magic that really awakens you to how amazing your parents are. Keep an eye on your big brother but let him be him. He’ll get everything he wants one day; he’ll just go about it differently to you. Every second with them is more precious than words.

Don’t change more than you have to.

Say nothing else but THANK YOU when someone compliments you.

PLEASE DON’T DANCE TOO CLOSE TO THE SPEAKERS!!!

Love from your older self.