Groundhog day

So I am starting over. Again.



at 21 and up to mischief

Like alot of women I never had a weight problem until I hit my mid 20's. I don't know why I let myself get fatty boombatty. Lot's of things happened in my life around that time, mostly really good things!

1. I moved back to Port Macquarie after enjoying a few years in Sydney cheffing in some iconic restaurants and meeting some amazing, unforgettable people.
2. I met, and subsequently moved in with, the love of my life.
3. I quit being a chef and went to uni to study for my teaching degree.

Aged 25 with my wonderful man.

Since that time I have graduated uni, gotten married, lost one of my Grandfathers and an equally beloved uncle, spent two action-packed years teaching in the Outback, had my Dad diagnosed with Prostate Cancer, returned to the coast with a permanent teaching position and had our beautiful son. Phew.

I gained well over 30kg (about 6-7 stone).

I must make it very clear that I managed to do that BEFORE having our baby! After the birth I was 7kg lighter!

I don't really know where I went wrong, all I know is that I have done this to myself and I need to fix it, but I just haven't been able to wrap my mind around it. I have been sooooo lazy! I have dieted before, sometimes quite successfully (like the pre-wedding shedding of 10kg) but then I put it all back on- plus some! I am fed up. Sick and tired of buying clothes whose only appeal is that they fit! Where has MY unique style gone? Oh that's right, it's in a box in the cupboard labelled "Do not open until size 10-12". Sigh.
I want to change my lifestyle and get this right! I know it's not easy so rather than facing up to another diet like it is groundhog day I decided it is high time I tried something different. So last week I went to my psychologist (my second ever visit and I think she is marvelous- more on that another time). I asked Dr Melly* what I can do. It is not as simple as telling myself to get up and get moving because I have no energy, no drive, in short I feel like BLAH. Or is it?

I was asked to brainstorm a list of all of the excuses that I come up with and it was quite a long, long list. She told me that all the excuses, like-

• I'm too lazy
• I hate exercise
• I cannot afford Weight Watchers or gym membership while on part time maternity leave

-etc, etc, are just that: excuses, and that I have the learn to manage those 'voices', and any hunger pains.  She told me to liken it to the way that chronic pain sufferers manage their pain; by disassociating the emotion or the physical sensation from the thoughts or excuses. Like as if you are acknowledging the thought or feeling but then tucking it away as being just something that is happening and does not bear dwelling on. Having recently given birth, this was an idea I could definitely get my head around!

The wise Dr Melly then put me onto a free IPhone app called My Fitness Pal, that is a massive database on which you can track what food you are eating throughout the day so that it can count your calories consumed. It also records your daily exercise, tracks weight loss progress, and links to the website. It is everything that works for me in Weight Watchers but it is FREE! FREE! FREE!

Finally we discussed the all important Goal Setting that is prioritised by ANY weight loss program. She stressed that in order to give myself a focus away from the scales, I should incorporate strategies into my diet goals and have exercise goals as well. Here are mine for today:

Time Frame	Diet	Exercise
This week...	Lose 1 kg Track everything I eat	Take Bub for three 30 minute walks.
This time next month...	Lost 5 kg Tracking still and looking at portion sizes.	Exercising every second day for at least 30 mins
By Christmas...	Lost 15kg Tracking, controlling portion sizes and drinking 2L water every day.	Able to go for a 30 min walk but jog for half the distance.



A more recent pic :0(

So today is day 4. I have been counting calories and am finding it to be not too bad, though I have noticed just how much I put into my mouth without considering it, such as left overs I nibble as I put them away, and bits of the foods I prepare for our Cooper. That's the benefit of tracking. If you are completely committed and track everything you eat, you soon become much more mindful of what you are doing.

I am concerned about how I will go next week when I start back at work two days per week.

I am yet to do ANY of my walks. So I am signing off for now in order to do just that. If I leave in the next couple of minutes Cooper will stay awake and we'll get home just as my husband does.

So fear not Penelope, I'll keep you posted.


* names have been changed to protect the innocent.